How about some random pictures?

Ok, Khan is taking a little longer at work today, and my mind is so far from work that I'm definitely checked out for the day. I don't know what the deal is with the time on this blog; I must have it set for a different time zone or something. But right now, it's 5:09 p.m., and I'm bored while I wait for my husband to pick me up. So, here are some random pictures from the weekend. I don't know how to add captions so I'll just do the best I can right here.

First one: A recent picture of the nursery. We settled on a bulletin board to hang above her crib. I figure we can put photos or whatever on it for now, but honestly, I'm really excited about putting up her own little artwork or something someday. I'm silly, I know.

Second one: Poor Kitty. She loves to lay on my belly, but it's just not working for her anymore. But she keeps trying.

Third one: That would be Khan figuring out how to put on the Moby Wrap. The Moby Wrap is a baby-carrying type thing. It's pretty cool because you can use it to carry the baby in a variety of holds, like in front, in the back, or as a sling. The one he's trying out here is supposed to be good for newborns. We'll see. It worked for Blue, currently Khan's favorite toy for Lily.

Last one: Khan and I were shopping at Target and we were looking at this newborn-sized sleeper. We were trying to settle a disagreement -- I thought it looked big for newborn size, he thought it looked small.

I blame the doctors.

I really was at peace with being patient and ready to wait for Lily to get here on her own time. But yesterday was my first weekly appointment when my doctor starts checking me for progress. First, she measured my belly and we listened to her heartbeat as usual. I asked about how big might Lily be at this point. Dr. R guessed she’s about 6 ½ pounds right now. Then she told me I’m one centimeter dilated, which really doesn’t mean anything, except that she said it’s a good sign that my cervix isn’t closed. She also said Lily’s head is “fully engaged,” which means that she’s in the right position, and Dr. R said it’s unlikely that she’d change positions at this point. So that’s good news.

And then I mentioned that the Braxton Hicks contractions I’d been feeling for several weeks were starting to go away and I’m starting to feel more crampy instead. Dr. R said that could be a sign that things are starting to happen. And then she said that it could be nothing and the crampiness could just go away. Argh.

I couldn’t help but start to get anxious after hearing all of this. It’s crazy to wake up every day and think that this could be the day. And it’s not that I’m sick of carrying her around all the time; I do like having her right where she is. But yesterday I was ready to wait and today I just want to meet my little girl already.

Full term

Every pregnant woman has the same goal -- to carry a healthy baby to term. Today, I've reached that milestone, so I'm really happy and relieved. (Now my goal is to get this healthy baby out of me, but not until she's completely ready.) Apparently, the last part of her development over these past couple of weeks has been her lungs growing, so it's nice to know that she's had enough time for that. I'm sure she'd have been likely to thrive outside the womb these last couple of weeks, but it's still satisfying to know that we made it to the the big 37-week marker.

I don't know how much longer I'll say it, but I really am going to miss being pregnant. I know that having her in my arms will be a completely different -- and even more wonderful -- experience, but pregnancy is a pretty awesome experience of its own. Yeah, there were some rough days and some aspects of pregnancy I could definitely do without. But on the other hand, she has the hiccups again right now, like she does at some point every morning. And she'll have them again some time today. And at some point she'll stretch her little feet up into my ribcage, or she'll stick her little bottom out to the left, or she'll do whatever she does with her little arms. And I'm gonna miss all of it.

On becoming a dad

This one's a bit long, but I wanted to post it. This is actually something I wrote this morning for the journaling on a scrapbook page that I'm working on for my pregnancy album. The page is called "on becoming a dad," and it's exactly how I'll put it in my scrapbook. I write directly to the subject of my page a lot in my scrapbooking. Anyway, here it is.

For fairly obvious reasons, I suppose, much of the focus during pregnancy is on the mom. The changes that she goes through are visible, and the people around her can’t help but be reminded that she’s about to be a mom. And she gets a lot of support and advice – whether or not she wants it. And she gets to feel close to her baby every day, and she gets to know that she’s already doing things to take care of her baby. And there’s comfort in that.

I imagine it’s different for dads. Their role isn’t as well defined at this point. And yet they must have the same worries, concerns, and excitement that mom does, but without the same level of support from family, friends, and strangers. And without that same feeling of closeness to the baby.

But no worries, baby. You’re going to be a great dad. I knew that much about you long before we saw that second pink line show up. You already are a great daddy. Just look at how you’ve taken such amazingly good care of mama these last nine months. From sitting up with me to comfort me during the first trimester when I thought I was going to throw up in the middle of the night to sitting up with me to comfort me in the middle of the night because I can’t sleep during this last month. And for just being wonderfully patient, supportive, and encouraging any time the road got a little rocky. But all of this is just who you are.

And you don’t miss any opportunities to bond with Lily. As soon as she was old enough to hear us, you started talking to her, singing to her, and reading to her. We started with some Dr. Seuss books like Green Eggs and Ham or The Cat in the Hat, and we add more as our little library grew. I get to rediscovering books that I used to love from my childhood, like Miss Nelson is Missing or the Little Critter books. And you get to read most of these for the first time. Like when I bought The Monster at the End of this Book, and just before you got to the last page to see how the book ended, you closed the book and put it down. I asked you why and you said you were going to wait to find out how it ended with Lily.

But your favorite stories to read to Lily are from the Frog and Toad Treasury. My brothers and I used to love these stories when we were kids, too. We started with my favorites, Cookies and The Garden. And by now she’s heard all Frog and Toad stories. You usually read two or three of them at a time. Maybe more, I’m not even sure because I usually fall asleep. And you add your commentary, sometimes describing the pictures for Lily, other times just adding little details for her. Like when you read The List and you tell her how this story is about someone like her mama, and how mama likes to make lists, too.

And you know, not all of that unsolicited advice is bad. A lot of it makes some sense and provides some reassurance to rookie parents. A wise man once told me that the secret to being a good parent was involvement. Just be interested and involved in whatever is important to your children. I’m thinking we’re off to a good start.

Almost there

Ok, so we're getting close. But I guess we're not too close yet. At my last appointment, 35 weeks last Friday, my doctor decided she didn't need to see me again until July 15th. I'll be just over 37 weeks then. She said I'll start seeing her every week at that point. She also said everything is great -- it seems I'm perfectly healthy and Lily weighs about 5 pounds right now. I guess all she does from now until the day we meet her is pack the weight on. So I guess we'll give her all the time she wants to do that.

I think we won't be meeting Lily until sometime into August. My gut feeling is that I'm not going to go early, in fact, I think I'll go a bit late. But, my instincts have been entirely wrong so far, so what do I know. And we're ready to be wrong -- my hospital bag is nearly packed, the nursery's ready, and we've got the carseat installed. So, little girl, we're ready when you are.