Toddlers are weird.

They just are. I only have a little experience so far with just the one, but in talking with other toddler moms, I think they might all just be a little weird.

Here are some examples.

Yes, she talks. All the time.Talk. Talk. Talk.

But……..it goes like this:

90% of her expressive language is demanding/imperative style. “I want cay-on.” “I want buh-beh-y,” etc. And these demands just pop in randomly. Like we’re about to walk out the door and she wants to color. To her credit, though, she’s really pretty good at saying “pees” and “tank you.”

8% of her expressive language is declarative. Like when we’re in the car, and she says “A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! A bus! A bus! A bus! A tuck A tuck! A bus! A bus! A tuck! A bus! Moon! Moon! Moon! Sun! Moon! A bus! A bus! A tuck!”

And I’m not sure how to respond to that, or how frequently. Am I supposed to say “Yes, Lily, a bus.” After every announcement? Because if I am, (a) she doesn’t give me the space for a response, and (b) it’s usually not a bus.

1% of her expressive language is her answering my questions. “Do you want the green shirt or the purple shirt?” “Puh-poh.” “Okay, purple then.” “No. Geen!” Sigh.

The last 1% is the stuff that makes sense only to her. Right now she says “Dah-homie” all the time, and I have no idea WTF that means.

She either feels the need to deconstruct her food or lay it out.
At the table, she usually deconstructs her food, which is really weird because she used to melt down if it was cut into pieces. Away from the table, she lays it out for inspection. This what she does with her Pringles. Every time. She always lays them out in rows, on her pillow. Weird.

Or here she is sorting her pretzels and bear crackers.

She’s a smart girl, but she doesn’t really understand scale.
Here she’s feeding the babies yogurt.

And when I told her she couldn’t sit in her dollhouse because she was too big, she went and got this chair.

She sticks her binkies in her eye.
She always does this when she’s tired, especially when she’s lying down to sleep. Weird.

Weird, repetitive games are the way we play.
She comes up with a pattern that seems to have no purpose or reason to anyone but her. And she does it over and over again.

For example, one afternoon we went to play with the water table, and it turned into, fill cup, pour on other table, repeat, repeat, repeat.

She loves art, but, well, it speaks for itself.
Check out how she dressed Cinderella in the dress-up sticker book.

And then there’s her drawings. I taught her to draw circles a while back, and she loves to draw circles. But the end product always makes me think of what psychos would do if someone gave them crayons and paper.

Over the last few weeks, though, thankfully she’s grown bored with circles, and now she draws things that only she sees. Like she’ll draw a line and call it “Mommy!” and another line “Daddy!” (Skinniest I've looked in a picture in a very long time.)

But then she tells me what to draw, and it’s almost always “umm..monkey!” So I try to draw a monkey, but I suck at it. So then she scribbles all over it and says “yay!”

But then again, Khan and I are weirdly proud of her artwork, so it all works out. See the biggest green circle in the middle? That’s a monkey. You can see its tail if you look hard enough.