Kitty and Lily.

It's fair to say it wasn't love at first sight between Kitty and Lily. Well, at least on the part of the cat. She welcomed Lily into our home by puking on our bed.

Then she pretended Lily didn't exist for at least four months. She refused to look at her or acknowledge her in any way.

Around the fourth month, Kitty gave in and decided she wasn't going away. She wouldn't come close enough to Lily to touch her, but she came within a few feet. Progress.


After Lily became mobile, Kitty was of great fascination to her. Kitty still didn't like Lily, but I really believe she enjoyed staying just out of her reach.

I suppose I don't blame her. Lily didn't really understand "gentle."

Kitty's taunting turned to tolerance. Fast forward a coupla years, and Kitty finally loves her. Don't believe me? Watch.

On the giving of gifts.

I'm not going to lie: I love presents. I wish I were a better person, but at this point in my life, I don't see that happening.

(BTW, I had several Xmas ideas to post for you, but in the interest of catching up before next Christmas, I'll just put most of that into the scrapbooks and move forward here. But I do have to post this one, at least.)

As long as I'm being totally honest, I'll just go ahead and admit that presents are my favorite part of the holiday season. Yes, I realize this truth makes me the villain in every Christmas move ever -- you know, those movies that won't rest until you know that Christmas is more than presents. So, fine, I get the message. It is more than just what I receive, and it truly is the giving that. I love looking for ideas, shopping, making stuff, and wrapping stuff. Turns out the only part of presents I hate is the shipping. Though I do love packages on my doorstep.

But like most parents, I want my child to grow up to be better than me, and this is a perfect place to start. This year, Lily really gets this whole Christmas thing. She can't stop singing Christmas carols, she can't get enough Christmas books. She wants Santa to know she's nice, and she wants a Pocahontas doll. Watching her soak up the magic of it all, I can't help but want to protect that for her, for as long as I can.

Presents, love them though I do, can have a way at eroding the magic.

So I decide that  I need to explore this whole gift-giving thing with my Lily, and I need to try to show her that the season of giving is more than just stuff made by Santa's elves or by underpaid people in China. There really is something in picking the right gift, and watching someone open your gift that makes you happy.

We started with our neighbors. We bought some of Jen's Chai (click that for the link and get you some of your own) to give to our neighbors. Specifically for the joy of giving with nothing in return.

Sidenote: You have no idea the influence and impression you make on small children. Play with them, love them, give them a half a second of your very precious time, and they will never care whether or not they get presents at Christmas, but I promise you they will know you, remember you, talk about you, and get excited at the idea of seeing you again.

I know that Lily loved to give these gifts because they came from Jen. It's been well over a year since the last time Lily saw Jen, and yet she still talks about her. All the time. Kids just want someone who makes them feel special, and now I can't mention my little brother Ben without her adding, "and Jen." 

 

When we dropped off the last box of tea with my neighbors, I was in a bit of a hurry to get home because I knew there was something really extraordinarily special to come that night. But my little girl surprised me. They said thank you, and some small talk, and then as we walked away from the last house, Lily stopped. She turned to me and said, "You say 'welcome?'" Yes, Lily love, I did. I swear. (I think.)

Other sidenote: Oh my mother trucking GAWD, Jen's chai is amazing. We've only used it so far in hot apple cider, but WOW, it's awesome. And the potpourri she sells is also awesome. Smells fantastic and spicy. Vomit car no more!

 

Another gift giving event that has become tradition is the crappy gift exchange party ever year. Simple rules: bring one, get one. Less than $5. Re-gifting is ideal. Just for fun, and it always makes for a good laugh. At this prize Tere and Ivan captured. Pretty sure we'll see that in Crappy Gift Exchange 2012.

 

Baby Cami with soon-to-be-Daddy, Chad. Cami takes what she wants, or at the very least, she tries.

 

The humor of a crappy gift is lost on a preschooler, so we got to watch them open real presents. Lily helped me wrap the gift for Jade. She struggled a little because she wanted to keep the Tinkerbell bowling set, but eventually decided to accept that it wasn't hers, and maybe Santa would bring one for her. 

Notice the teddy bear that  Lily's carrying? His name is Dooces, and she went NO.WHERE. without him for days. Thank you, Marina and Chad for a super-successful choice! As for the bowling pins, she forgot about that toy by the very next morning. People, she remembers for months and months and years, too.

Then there was the matter of  what to do about Lily giving gifts from her. We did some handmade stuff, of course, but I also wanted her to GIVE a present she earned with HER OWN money, now that she's developed a vague understanding of money. So just before Christmas, I gave her the opportunity to earn enough money to pick out something for her dad and something for Kitty. From the dollar store, but obviously, that's not the point.

Naturally, Lily picked a variety of items for both recipients, i.e., every thing that sparkled and caught her eye.  With a little help, she narrowed her selections for one for each. Decision made, she marched up tot he front checkout to see the "Payer." 

When we got home, Lily wanted to wrap her presents all by herself. Try to intervene and you might get cut.

She even wrote the tags, which she pretty well for a 3-year-old, this proud mama has to admit. Pretty sure her handwriting is better than mine.

She put the presents underneath the tree. In case you wondered, Daddy got a fishing game and Kitty got a new food dish, and she was proud.
Store-picked and hand-wrapped gifts are good. Homemade gifts are better. But the best gift is time spent with friends and family -- especially surprise visitors from 1,500 miles north of Tampa.

I had been texting with Erik, my big brother, all day. On Thanksgiving, he told me that he and Ben were going someplace warm for Christmas. I pointed out that Florida's warm, but he made it  clear that they were going on their own vacation.

So when I got the day I got the text that they were indeed coming to Florida, and Tampa was a planned stop, I was more than a little excited.

I almost jumped out of my chair. "Don't tell Mom!" was the biggest part of my response. I could tell from phone calls and emails that Nana's feelings about this Christmas were bittersweet. Yes, Christmas with us and her granddaughter. But No Ben. No Erik. No sisters. Not the same. So what better way to mitigate that feeling with this surprise?

The day of their arrival, Erik kept me aware of their progress all day. What time are you leaving? What time do you expect to get here? What do you want for dinner? FINALLY, I checked my phone and read:"We're on Bruce B. Downs."

Ack! All day long, I had been meaning to pick up the living room a bit, or at least, vacuum. But it was a busy day and I kept pushing it back. But with Erik and Ben only minutes away, I had run out of time.

As I cleaned, Lily and Nana snuggled up under blankets, Nana's first chance to rest all day, but Lily wasn't going to let her have it alone. I saw them cuddling together, and I so in love with that moment, I hated to end it. Quiet moments like that are really rare, especially for Nana.

But there was a knock on the door.

"Mom, could you get that? I just need to finish the floor quick," I asked. 

Such a lame excuse, made all the more unconvincing because I was cleaning. Obviously, Nana knew this was no ordinary knock on the door.

So cuddle-time ended, Nana got up and opened the door.

 

  And when she did, she saw her firstborn. Best. Christmas. present. By a long shot.

Five little cousins sitting in a row.

You might think that because these 5 kids live within a 45-minute drive from each other that they hang out every weekend. Nope, that doesn't happen. It's kind of shameful how rarely the five of them are together, but it's also kind of reality. Different work schedules. Different obligations. Life, it happens. But we do manage to get them together for the holidays, most of the time. Holidays are good for that.

Enter Thanksgiving. I failed tremendously at getting pictures of the event, I did manage to get a few photos of these five kids, sitting in a row.

But don't think for a second that I did it all with my own magic. Nope. That magic is called Joy, my sister-in-law. She probably should've been a teacher because she has the magic pixy dust to get 5 kids under the age of 5 to do what she says just because she says. That's power, my friends.

Not that it was easy, even with her magic. Kids at this age need games. They need to be entertained, and they need to have fun. If they aren't having fun, they are outta there faster than you can click.

One of the first games went like this: First, all kids hide under the blanket. Then, some poor unsuspecting aunt, uncle, or grandparent came in and "wondered where they went." Finally, they all popped out from the blanket and "scared" them. Followed by giggles. (It actually was pretty fun.)

 

 

At some point, we reach that awkward silence and run out of ideas, we try "hands up, everyone!" And when Magic Joy says do it, they do.

Then I had an idea. A terrible, awful idea involving candy canes and an image from my childhood, from a Christmas movie we've all seen.  Can you guess what it is?

 

It's OK. I'm not offended if you didn't get it. The idea in my head rarely translates well to reality. But it was this: when the Grinch stole the candy canes right from the Who-kids. Basically, this image, sans kid antennae and menacing shadow.

 

Love it! All pretending to sleep. Thank you, Magic.

But that game only lasts for so long.

So, candy canes up in the air!

 

Among the various games, bribes, and tricks we played, I got this photo. To me, this one makes it worth all the time and effort. I know this photo will be one of my all-time favorites. While I'm sure there are technical or compositional flaws, to me, it is perfection. Each of them looks beautiful.

Bacca's "recent" visit.

Well, I'm going to try to cram the last few months of 2011 into its last few days. It won't happen, but maybe I'll get close and can start 2012 almost caught up.

So my dad came to visit recently. (What's that? You assume he came for Christmas? Nope. He came just after Halloween. But it was November! So I'm getting a tad closer to catching up. Babble babble babble, blah blah blah. Back to recapping (Bacca's) Dad's visit.) As usual, the best moments happened during downtime, just chilling at the house. And I have nothing to show for that as I only took pics of our outings. When will I learn?

Our main outings of Bacca's visit were to the beach and later Seaworld. Let's start with the beach. We went to our sentimental favorite, Honeymoon Island. Thankfully, and largely because of local opposition, Honeymoon Island State Park remains protected.

Protected for us to enjoy. Gawd, I do love the beach. I don't need to swim, sunbathe, or anything else. I just want to be there, close my eyes, and listen to the surf. Feel the breeze. Open my eyes and see the vast, blue Gulf.

Lily, however, just wants to build castles.

Or maybe pretend our beach towel is a kite while Bacca and Husband explored the coast.
Strangely, it was one of the only cold days we've had during the non-summer part of the year. We went to the dog beach because it seemed more protected from the strong winds of that day. It was a fairly long walk to the beach from the car. But I saw an armadillo! No one else did, but it was real.

 

One last parting photo. Photog note: no one wants to look at the sun and smile.

Our other big outing of the trip was Seaword. Honestly, the idea of going to Seaworld had been troubling me. Any time you go to a zoo or a Busch Gardens or Seaword, you can't help but notice that uncomfortable paradox: beautiful, amazing animals to actually see and get close to, vs. lack of freedom. No, they don't belong in captivity. It's unnatural for them. On the other hand, many nearly-extinct species only exist because of zoos and captivity. These facilities allow us to see these creatures, admire them, and want to protect them. And so in lies the dilemma. If you're interested, I suggest reading the Zoo Story: Life. Death. The Paradox of Freedom, a series in the St. Pete Times turned into a book, all written by Thomas French. Click here to read it, and, for now, I'll pull this quote from the story, 

"All this talk of freedom, as if it were some pure and limitless river flowing through the wild, providing for every creature and allowing them all to live in harmony. On an overcrowded planet, where open land is disappearing and more species are slipping toward extinction every day, freedom is not so easily defined."  

It's just not a black and white issue. 

It is Lily's childhood right to not have to deal with the ethical dilemma, and I wasn't about to put that burden on her little mind. All I wanted was for her to see these amazing animals and understand why they matter. 

She was most excited to go through the shark tunnel. Crappy picture aside, it was pretty cool.

 

Dolphins are far more lovable than sharks. Probably the smile.

This guy wasn't part of the exhibit, but birds aren't stupid and they go where the food is. The snowy egret is probably my favorite egret.

 

Oh, and then there was the best part. We went to see the Shamu show and my child fell asleep. No, really. She fell asleep. During the show. Put her in a dark, cool, quiet bedroom, and she won't sleep. But put her in a large, crowded stadium with crazy lights and music, and she's out like a light. Go figure.

After her little nap-sa-doodle, we decided to squeeze in one more show to end the day. We saw Blue Horizons, which is a more artsy-fartsy show with dolphins, whales posing as dolphins, birds, music, acrobats, and story. Lily watched with wide-open, enchanted eyes. She loved it.

 

 

 And so ended our day at Seaworld.

Beyond the tourist part, Bacca's visit was fabulous. We did some grilling, appliance shopping, and just relaxing. Personally (though I don't have the pictures to show for it), my favorite part of the visit was Lily playing with Bacca and them playing silly games that she invents. Particularly the trick-or-treat game in which my dad had to pretend to be Mickey Mouse. His impression was pretty close to the mark.

It was definitely not a visit we will forget anytime soon.

Just a day in the park.

Rather than drone on about how the events of this post took place months and months ago and I'm so far behind blah blah blah, I'll just pretend that it's my random thought of the day.

So I had this random thought today...about how one of the things I love most about where I live is all the parks in my neighborhood. Take for example this Sunday, from a month not so long ago.

It was the same weekend Lily's cousins were staying with us, and since it was no longer July, it was a lot easier to get out of the house and keep everyone happy. Cheap and easy, we went to the park. Just a short walk and/or tricycle ride, and we're there.

 

The three of them came up with the idea of using the slide to fall down on each other. They were happy, and nobody was getting hurt, so, meh, it's all good.

They did use the slides the regular way, too. Pretty Lia.
Seriously pretty Lia. This photo has no relevance to the story, but I do love taking pictures of this girl.

Not much later, their daddy came to pick them up, and it was just the three of us again.

Later that same day, we got ready to see the orchestra. The Florida Orchestra has free pops in the park concerts in a few locations, including one close to us. If you know me, and both of you do, you know that real music+wine and munchies+nice weather=a very happy Kate, but the best part of this event is that we can bring Lily.

I mean it's not as though I could take her to the Performing Arts Center and expect her to sit through a concert. Here, she was welcomed and happy, Before the concert, Lily and I peeked in a little closer, and I got to show her cellos, trumpets, big drums, and woodwinds. And that music comes not from the CD player in your bedroom, Lils, but from the people who make it. (I wonder if a CD will be to her what a vinyl record is to me?)

And so we set up our chairs, pulled out the snacks and drinks, and waited for the show.

And that was the end of natural light.

Lily loved the concert. I told her they were going to play Aurora's song. To the world without princess-obsessed preschoolers, Aurora's song is  Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty She danced and danced, and she entertained (annoyed?) those around us.

Speaking of those around us, I'm pretty sure my favorite part of this event is the groups of little old ladies drinking wine and hanging out with their friends. I hope that's me one day. I want to grow old with my husband, yes, but I also hope that I grow old with my friends and we hang out often. I whole-heartedly believe that a few hours spent with friends is amazingly enriching for the soul.

I digress, as usual. These last pictures aren't great portraits, but you want to know why I love them?

No flash. YES. No flash at night. Flash photography was not allowed.
Oh fine then. Want to know the secret to how I did it? We happened to be sitting just behind one of the giant spotlights for the concert. So, while the context of the event is night, my subject (Lily) was right below enough light to take the shot. Notice how Lily's not facing the stage. When she turned away from the stage and toward the light behind us, the light fell on her face, and it was just enough to take a crappy picture or two.
So, poorly done, lots of grain, but no flash. And for some reason, that makes me really happy. Weird.